Samantha Gottlich
Harm to Self - NO RHYME OR REASON
I am neither an artist or a painter, and I have no true or formal knowledge of the techniques or syncrasy of art.
I was diagnosed with Lupus and Chronic Pericarditis in 2017. I learned that if I was to relieve my own emotional affliction and to truly show the physical affliction of this “unseen” disease, painting would have to be my translator for my new life.
Harm to Self is a collection of pieces portraying the pain I’ve indirectly and directly afflicted to myself and the mental toll.
My art tells the stories of my Lupus and its physical and emotional effects, my experience with body image and breast reduction surgery and anxiety and panic laced in between.
“I don’t feel like myself”
I Don’t Feel Like Myself is the follow up work to Where Does it Hurt. Through an immense breakdown related to a sense of disgust and hatred, this self image painting shows the dysmorphia and discomfort of seeing myself in a starkly different way.
“Where does it hurt?”
Where Does It Hurt was created a week after having my breast reduction. This piece highlights the physical faint scars from my previous kidney removal surgery and pericardial effusion as well as the new found bleeding and scars from the newest surgery. The darkness begins to creep in due to the physical and emotional changes related to this procedure.
“Symptoms”
Symptoms illustrate a heightened sense of the symptoms I experience. The chaos of losing my hair. My fingers ballooning up as they swell. My pericarditis gives me the sensation that I’m drowning. And my face is blank to the reality.
“Hair on the wall”
Hair on the Wall shows the seemingly endless loop of showering during my lupus flare ups, losing immense bundles of hair, and sticking them on the wall of my shower. Through this, I lose my identity..Every time my hair falls out due to a disease that cannot be cured.
Panicking
Panicking is the sister piece to I Don’t Feel Like Myself. Since childhood, I’ve been a nail biter. Biting my nails to bloody stumps has only worsened as I’ve aged. This piece showcases how I see myself (and my fingers) during one of these panic frenzies.
Still I Bloom
Still I Bloom is hope and courage through the physical and mental affliction I’ve experienced. My body, with all its scars, is a flourishing hydrangea bush. Growing despite the darkness behind. Despite it all, I will grow.
Wearable Art by NROR Art
Sofia Ortmann
Over the last 18 months, my struggle with interstitial cystitis (chronic inflammation of the bladder) and my dad’s sudden liver failure put into stark relief the reality and dangers of infection as never before.
While enduring cystitis, not only did I face chronic pain daily for years, I felt ashamed and embarrassed of my body. Meanwhile my dad who was surviving constant severe pain, completely isolated himself and emotionally shut down; he saw himself as a burden.
These wearable sculptures are a symbol of coming out of hiding, reconnecting and opening up to share difficult experiences with others. By sharing what feels so vulnerable, I hope to transform the burden of shame and inspire more kindness to myself and one another.
While enduring cystitis, not only did I face chronic pain daily for years, I felt ashamed and embarrassed of my body. Meanwhile my dad who was surviving constant severe pain, completely isolated himself and emotionally shut down; he saw himself as a burden.
These wearable sculptures are a symbol of coming out of hiding, reconnecting and opening up to share difficult experiences with others. By sharing what feels so vulnerable, I hope to transform the burden of shame and inspire more kindness to myself and one another.
Infection 1 (Liver), yarn over leather 2021
Infection 2 (Bladder), yarn over leather 2021
